A riot of slap-and-tickle humour
Panto season has truly arrived, and South London is brimming with bold, original festive productions, but The Liar, the Bitch and the Wardrobe stands out as one of the cheekiest and most joyful offerings of the year, writes Luigia Minichiello.
After a sell-out run at The Turbine Theatre in 2024, the show returns for a highly anticipated residency at The Union Theatre. Directed by Sasha Regan and produced by How Cool Productions and The Union Theatre, this “very adult panto” promises outrageous fun and absolutely delivers.
Finding The Union Theatre tucked down a narrow alley feels like stumbling onto a secret, but inside you’re greeted by a warm, cosy bar-café space, complete with a piano, sofas, and a twinkling Christmas tree. The intimate performance area quickly fills with an overexcited adult crowd who know exactly what kind of festive mischief they’re in for.
The show wastes no time setting the tone, kicking off with two cast members belting out, “Rubble in my bits, ashes down my tits – it’s the Blitz!” It’s gloriously unhinged, and from that moment the night becomes a riot of slap-and-tickle humour, topical gags, and knowing nods to modern culture.
The story takes C.S. Lewis’ classic children’s novel and gleefully flips it upside down. We follow Southwark lovers Edward and Peter, evacuated to the countryside and dumped in the fabulously named Babs Douche’s Boarding School for Bad Butch Boys. From there, they quite literally stumble out of the closet into a twisted, naughty Narnia where Christmas hasn’t been seen for a century.
A hardworking four-person cast brings this wild world to life, playing everyone from Mr. Topless to The Hungry Beaver to the evil Tight Bitch. Along the way, the boys meet Gary Barlow’s giant son, discover that “everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough,” and throw themselves into musical numbers with camped-up lyrics inspired by Chappell Roan, Taylor Swift, and Raye. The final battle even ends in a burst of voguing.
No panto is complete without audience participation, and this one revels in it. Insults, call-and-response moments, and Babs’ iconic, “Thank you jabs—here comes Babs!” keep the crowd on its toes.
The Liar, the Bitch and the Wardrobe is a wonderfully filthy festive escape, perfect for anyone looking for Christmas mischief with plenty of heart and a whole lot of humour.
The Union Theatre to 4 January 2026.
Booking and full details: https://uniontheatre.biz/show/the-liar-the-bitch-the-wardrobe-a-very-adult-panto/
