To quote a wise man (Rumi): “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Why are you single? What are the things that are not working in your relationships? Are there patterns you keep repeating? Or perhaps the problem is that no one can quite measure up to your exacting standards.
Perhaps you are ready for Relationship Rehab. A place where we get to stop! To take time solely for the purpose of identifying the obstacles within us that are preventing us from attracting and sustaining lasting love. Self love, that is.
I started the Relationship Rehab to get the bottom of what’s not been working in our relationships. Not our relationships with others but our relationship with ourselves. It’s important because until we fall deeply in love and interest with ourselves, our relationships might suffer from codependency, resentment and bitterness. By focusing on ourself first, we build confidence, strengthen self esteem, learn to validate ourselves and acquire the tools to generate a foundational sense of wellbeing from within, rather than looking for someone else to give these things to us. This way, we put ourselves in the strongest position we’ve ever been to get the love we deserve. This is a very, very exciting proposition.
I have been a psychotherapist and coach for almost ten years and have worked with many single high-achieving women. Many of these women were also challenged by the task of attracting and sustaining healthy, lasting love.
Such women know that they can find a man, even a husband, at the drop of a hat. The key for them is to find a healthy, peaceful, happy, exciting and sexy relationship. Not just someone to settle with. So take a deep breath, channel Yvonne Elliman, and repeat after me, “if I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby!”
No matter how intelligent or successful you are, if you’re a woman who is disconnected from herself – and I was one of them – being in a relationship can mean losing yourself and giving away a disproportionate amount of power to your partner. Well, at first glance it may appear this way but the reality is rather more delightful.
The loss of power a woman believes she is experiencing in love is perfectly aligned with her journey towards greater self understanding and self awareness. Our partners are our mirrors. They give us our own personal set of coordinates to our very own treasure.
How can we know what we are looking for from another if we have not yet understood our needs in relationship with ourselves? We could be in greater alignment with the truth of what it is to be human by normalising finding love in your 40s, discovering and chasing new dreams in your 30s, finding your purpose in your 50s.
Most of all, normalise slowing down and getting to know yourself more deeply at every pivotal stage of your life. Get still and be with self more often. Do this before embarking on a journey to get to know another romantically. It’s a game changer.
For more information visit
www.nancyelliottcoaching.com
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