The show leaves everyone smiling
If you think you know The Nutcracker, think again. Secret Theatre’s The Nutcracker Noir, currently playing at Protein Studios in Shoreditch, takes the classic tale and blends theatre, dance, music and fine dining into one extravagant Christmas experience. From the moment I arrived, it was clear this wasn’t just a show, but a full evening of escapism, writes Luigia Minichiello.
The entrance immediately sets the tone. Guests arrive through a Wes Anderson–style shop filled with playful stalls and are greeted with a welcome drink. We’re invited to write down a festive wish before beginning the journey, which instantly pulls you into the world of the story.
As we move through a series of immersive rooms, we’re introduced to an array of striking characters who guide us through Clara’s reimagined narrative. A standout is Elf Eldar- think Lord of the Rings vibes – complete with dazzling magic tricks and an unforgettable costume. He sets the scene beautifully, encouraging us to listen carefully to the story of Clara, the new choreographer of Club Noir. We then meet Clara herself, glowing in a sparkling pink fairytale costume. Her backstory is brought to life through projection installations that transform each space, with every room revealing another layer of intrigue.
Eventually, we arrive at Club Noir, a lavish performance space dressed in red drapes, seductive lighting and festive glamour. From that point, it is full throttle. DJ sets, impressive choreography and familiar songs are cleverly woven into the narrative, creating a show that is both playful and emotional. The MC, a brilliant vocalist and tap dancer, playfully asks the audience who has travelled the furthest, with answers ranging from Corby to Hawaii.
The performers are outstanding, with Clara leading the opening of her new show in front of the formidable reviewer, Madame Zel. She is a standout, an exceptional actor whose ability to ad-lib with the audience while remaining completely true to her character is genuinely stunning, and for me, she had the best costume of the night. There’s a moment when the audience is asked to help her write an apology letter; when one guest suggests using ChatGPT so we can all get back to having shots, she handles the moment perfectly. The audience fully embraces the show throughout, leaning into every interaction and making it even funnier and more playful. Later, everyone is invited to join a singing challenge, and the buzzy crowd happily throws themselves into it, adding to the sense that this is a shared, joyful experience rather than something you simply sit and watch.
Another brilliant twist is how the food is woven into the narrative of the show. The fresh bread is served with Brick Lane butter, full of spice inspired by the famous curry houses. This detail links back to Clara’s past , abandoned as a child on Brick Lane with only a note from her mother and a recipe. The dining experience, created by chef Jenny McNeill, is just as impressive as the performance. From fresh trout starters to a rich, slow-braised beef cheek main, every dish feels carefully crafted and beautifully presented. The most exceptional for me was the dessert: a Basque cheesecake paired with Spanish brandy and prunes. This, Clara’s mother’s recipe, was indulgent and delicious.
Visually, The Nutcracker Noir is a feast. The costumes alone deserve applause, with bold colours, dramatic silhouettes and intricate details that make the entire evening feel like a fashion show.
The finale sees the three main characters harmonising beautifully, so moving it brought my dining partner to tears, before finishing with a high-energy Pink Pony Club. The show ends with a spontaneous conga around the room, leaving everyone smiling.
“Immersive” and “sensational” are often overused, but here they’re accurate. Luxurious, theatrical and endlessly surprising, The Nutcracker Noir is one of the most memorable Christmas experiences London has to offer and worth booking.
Booking and full details: https://nutcracker-noir.co.uk/
