Within a minute or two of Unfortunate: The Untold Story of Ursula the Sea Witch opening, Ursula was told – in song – that ‘if you’re bad you’ll be cut into rings and shallow fried!’ Ursula is an octopus. And so this musical continued in the same vein until she got her prince and ruled the ocean, writes Michael Holland.
But there are no spoilers to be found here for this underwater extravaganza; this is pure panto, a fairy tale with the same tropes that we all know, with the only difference being how we get from start to finish.
Ursula(Shawna Hamic) was a lowly toilet sucker(?) when the king’s simple son Triton(Thomas Lowe) goes all goggle-eyed over her magic powers: ‘I wanna be the only wave that you ride,’ he says as he smoulders and grinds. But when he chooses her as his bride the king is far from happy, frames her for killing Kirsty the sea-cucumber and banishes her to the dark waters.
Life moves on for Triton, who finds a new bride, but one of his offspring, Ariel(River Medway), a typical teenager who gets lured into bad habits by the waste thrown into the sea by humans: magazines, sanitary towels, Coke bottles… She collects them and dreams of being human. She tells her dad that she wants her gills pierced! When she shares a discarded grenade with a friend it does not end well…
Moving on a generation, King Triton wants Ariel to find a husband who she can rule with one day but with her head turned by a desire to have legs and live on land, he turns to Ursula’s magic to help. A spell is cast and Ariel becomes human and Eric (Jamie Mawson) falls in love with her. Alas, she does not have the power of speech. Cue the big number, Unfortunate, to close Act One.
There is a lot going on in this sea-based saga and with just ten actors creating a whole shoal of characters it is no surprise to not always be sure who is playing who, or if the excellent Allie Dart is playing Sebastian the crab or the French Chef cooking the crab. Or both, as she was at one point, which was turned into a clever comedy skit, with Ariel horrified at having to help prepare the fish, crustaceans and molluscs and deciding to liberate them all instead!
The set looks great, performances are all strong, the songs are mostly hilarious, and the direction and choreography keeps the audience rafting in white water rapids for most of the show. So much so that we needed to be beached every now and then as respite from this maelstrom of marine-life mayhem.
There is a message in Unfortunate about plastic pollution and female empowerment, but the lesson is buried beneath a tsunami of camp comedy, bitchy backbiting and song and dance that takes us to the expected happy ending.
It is abundantly clear that the writers, Robyn Grant (who also directs) and Daniel Foxx had such a great time writing this fishy fun-packed show that they didn’t want it to ever end. Hence its almost three hours running time.
Southwark Playhouse Elephant, 1 Dante Place, London, SE11 4RX until Saturday 17 February 2024. Times:Monday – Saturday: 19.45
Friday: 17.00 & 20.30. Matinee and early evening shows alternate each week, check the website for the full schedule. Admission: £25 – £45.
Booking: southwarkplayhouse.co.uk
Website: unfortunatemusical.com
